1. I wish
I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself,
not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that
their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see
how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even
a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to
choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important
to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the
moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom
very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed
their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also
spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of
the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I
nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on
the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your
lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to
not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in
your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones
more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others.
As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they
were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the
bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control
the reactions of others. However, although people may initially
react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it
raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or
it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you
win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until
their dying weeks and it was not always possible
to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own
lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There
were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort
that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for
anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced
with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away.
People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible.
But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them.
They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those
they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this
task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That
is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that
happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and
habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their
emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them
pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When
deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their
life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you
is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and
smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It
is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose
happiness.